Glass versus Brooks Paraffine Insulators

Glass versus Brooks Parafin [sic] Paraffin Insulators.

OUR cotemporary [sic] contemporary, the official organ of the Western Union Telegraph Company, in the last issue, publishes a correspondence between ALLICK TRISSITY and LITENIN BUGG in regard to Glass versus Iron (BROOKS Parafin [sic] Paraffin) Insulators. An important (and we think the best) part of the correspondence on this subject apparently failed to reach our contemporary, and having come into our hands, we publish it in THE TELEGRAPHER. In our columns it will be more apt to attract the attention of those interested than in the columns of our contemporary, the numbers of which, as per instructions, are carefully "placed on file" in the offices of the Western Union Company, and are seldom seen by any but those who are compelled to refer to them to ascertain tariff changes.

(Official Correspondence.)

PERSIMONVILLE JUNCTION,

CATTARAGUS COUNTY.

August 5th, 1871.

THOS. THUMB, Brevet-Brig. General of the Plugs.

DEAR SIR - Yesterday it rained, and we could not get Goobertown, 40 miles. The President of the railroad says he don't think our insulation is first class. Our contract says it shall be first class. The President has told me to ask that the glass insulators be changed, and you give us the Brooks. Our line works very badly when it rains. Will you give us the Brooks Insulators?

Yours,

ALLICK TRISSITY,

Supt. Goobertown Railroad Telegraph.

(HEADQUARTERS.)

August 10th, 1871.

ALLICK TRISSITY, Supt. Goobertown Railroad Telegraph.

DEAR SIR - I have the honor to acknowledge the receipt of your favor of 6th inst. I decline furnishing you the Brooks Insulators. They are not good. Our object is to furnish you the best, provided they are not paraffin or made by Brooks, who is not in the "ring" at Headquarters. We have tried the Brooks and know all about them. The result was exactly what was expected, and confirmed my private unalterable conviction as to their worthlessness. We put up seven on one of our through circuits. The first day the paraffin run out of the insulators down upon and greased the wires, which prevented the communications from passing — the messages could not adhere." Dorrick, our chief repairer, saw the trouble at once, and lost no time in remedying it. He took a, little sand, climbed the pole, and sprinkled it on the wire. The messages then passed over. The idea was a brilliant one; and, although not entirely original, the application was novel, and a scintillation of genius. Dorrick is an observing fellow. He had seen an engine saved from stalling, going up one of your steep grades with a train loaded with persimmons, by sprinkling sand on the rails in front of the locomotive. Dorrick has helped me out of many difficulties, and after the next dividend is paid I intend to raise his salary fifteen cents per day.

On the second day the grylli vividissimi (grass hoppers) ate their way through the shields and devoured the brimstone. On the third day the hooks fell out. On the fourth day the lightning struck the insulators and dashed the poles all to atoms-there was not a splinter to be found big enough for a toothpick! Bear in mind, all this occurred in midwinter. Had these insulators been up during the dog days, heaven only knows what would have happened!

On the fifth day we took down the Brooks Insulalators [sic] Insulators, and since then we have worked to Persimmonville, forty miles, on a single circuit, through three repeaters.

Now, Mr. Trissity, permit me to suggest that your trouble is not in the glass insulators at all. Very probably the difficulty is in your trunnions. On one occasion we could not work a through wire to Buffalo-not a particle of current passed Albany. I found the trouble in the Albany office. The trunnions of the relay were screwed so tight no current could pass. I loosened the trunnions and everything was lovely and serene. We got Buffalo instanter. Examine your trunnions.

You should have another wire to open when it rains. We have put up several for that purpose. We have tried to work the new ones by opening the old wires, but that plan don't answer.

Again, we have pretty much concluded that messages should not be sent in rain, and exposed to the inclemency of the elements. We prefer to keep them until the rain is over, and then send them along with the "Reds."

Please state to the President of the G. Railroad the reasons why we object to furnishing the Brooks Insulators for their telegraph line.

I have the honor to remain, with distinguished consideration, etc., etc.,

THOS. THUMB,

Brevet Brig-Genl. of the Plugs.

P. S. — Strictly confidential. — How much salary does the Goobertown Railroad Company pay you? We have talked the matter over, and concluded it is not enough. We will pay you $25 per month, commencing first instant, which will be $300 per annum additional to that you get from the railroad. We do this with the understanding that there shall be no more complaint about your insulation. On the receipt of the first murmur off goes your head!